Telling your Kid about Sex

No one wants to have the talk. My parents never had a talk with me. I do remember the talk they had with my older sister. I heard things I really didn’t want to! Things are so different these days. We live in a sex saturated world. The average age for the first exposure to pornography is around 8 years old. I have three daughters. Two of them are still babies, but the oldest is 10. This is how my wife and I approach the sex talk with our daughter:

1. It is more than one talk

It is a an ongoing conversation. Do not just sit down, tell your child about the birds and bees, and think you have done all that is needed. One talk is not sufficient. It is an ongoing conversation, a dialogue.

2. Better too early rather than too late

If you wait until your child is a teenager and interested in sex, you are way too late. Talk about it before it gets to this. I don’t want to suggest a specific age. Every child is different. We started with our daughter when she was 8 or so. Kids hear far more about sex than you realize. I would rather them hear it from me first than from their friend or a television show. If you have waited too long, start the conversation anyway. Maybe your child has questions, and is ashamed or afraid to ask. At the least, your child needs to hear the truth about sex, not what is portrayed on YouTube or Instagram.

3. Stress that sex is from God

The temptation is to make sex gross. It is a good thing because it is a God thing. Stress that sex is a gift from God, but it is only for the context of marriage. You also need to tell them the dark side to that. Bad choices can ruin a life and a marriage.

4. Use some good resources

I highly recommend a book called The Talk, by Luke Gilkerson. Right now I am using Good Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids, by Kristen A. Jenson.

If your child has access to a smart phone or I-pad, put a filter on it. Monitor their activity. Above all, make sure you are setting a good example in the home. Speak of sex and treat sex in a healthy way that honors God.



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