Why do I Yell at my Kids?

I hate it when I yell at my kids. I hate to even admit I yell at my kids. This is what I have learned after losing it:

Yelling at my kids doesn’t make anything better.

  • Never once, after raising my voice, has the situation gotten better, calmer, or more pleasant.
  • Never once have my children thought, “Dads yelling. I better obey!” It just makes them more disobedient.
  • Never once have my children felt more loved as a result of my yelling.
  • Never once have my children respected me more after my verbal vomits.

Yelling at my children only makes things worse.

  • I feel bad for doing it.
  • My children get anxious and upset, which causes more stress and even more, you guessed it – yelling.
  • I am setting a bad example for how to handle stress and emotions.
  • It takes away the joy and peace of the household.

The best thing for me, when I get anxious and angry, is to walk away from the situation.

Not storming off in a rage, but rather excusing myself from the situation.

  • When I walk away, it cuts the tension out of the air.
  • It helps me get a better perspective.
  • It helps my emotions idle down.
  • It helps the emotions of my children idle down.

The same is true of any relationship; whether towards your children, spouse, or friend. Yelling doesn’t make things better, but worse.

I ask for forgiveness after I lose it. I tell my kids, “Sorry, dad messed up. Please forgive me.”

  • I am teaching them the power of taking responsibility.
  • I am teaching them the need to ask for forgiveness.
  • I am teaching them that yelling is not ok.

“Children are gifts. They are not ours for the breaking. They are ours for the making.” Dan Pierce

Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”


2 thoughts on “Why do I Yell at my Kids?

  1. Oh how I wish I knew and lived this as a mother and wife. Years later the Holy Spirit taught me that Proverbs 15:1 is not only a benefit to the listener, but to the speaker as well. And yet, I still struggle….

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